We have found after seeking professionals to help, that the house hubby has known as home for 52 years is not going to get the fixes it needs to remain a home. In order to get power, it must have new wiring and inspections to reach current codes. After a theft on the property, police discovered a gas smell, and the gas company employee shut off the gas until we have new gas lines rerun and inspected to meet city codes. We don't have that kind of money and insurance is dragging their feet. But it also gives us an answer to the prayers we've been praying, about moving in ourselves or selling off the home. No one can live in it currently and we just don't have the finances to do the fixes. The house itself is 151 years old give or take, and has a lot of history. It's an old prairie house, brought into town and put on the plot that has an amazing historical deed.
God answers prayers, even if we don't like the answer.
Hubby's mother has declined significantly since going in the nursing home. The nursing home itself is well known for its quality of care and so on. And it is quite expensive for private pay. We're learning this the hard way. Mom had an amputation of one leg below the knee due to osteomyelitis in her foot. It's been 3 months or so now, and while the stump has mostly healed, another wound has developed under the skin and down into the bone that is causing sepsis. She has osteomyelitis again, with a wound that is not open at the top but going wild below. She has become septic and her doctor and medical staff working with her do not believe she can handle the high caliber IV antibiotic that's used to kick it. She is having trouble swallowing liquids/food as well. So hubby, with most of his siblings' support, had to make the decision to allow hospice. Mom went on hospice this past weekend.
Hubby has not had significant close losses, not of this type, and I've been trying to help him prepare. I have lost both parents in my 20's, and now 2 decades later can use that experience to help him. It seems that the siblings are more or less distancing themselves from the situation, as it's hard for them to handle. It's hard for hubby as well, having to make those decisions and second guessing and agonizing over them. This has been a time for him to learn to trust Jesus all the more. I'm doing what I can to show him he's not alone, that he has church family from our own church as well as his parents' church (they are founding members of a local baptist leaning non-denominational church that has been going for 40 years or so), our blood family, friends, local town folks who know and love his parents, etc. And most of all Jesus...He has never never left us alone. He has said that He will never leave us nor forsake us.
Hubby's dad just turned 94, and has dementia that is in rapid mode. He's a sweet man, still runs circles around people while using his walker, and is such a loving soul. He is with Mom in the nursing home, and has no idea really that Mom is on hospice now. He knows she is sick, and he is glad to see the number of nurses attending to her rise. But, he doesn't know how sick she is, and we can't do that to him. He doesn't know about the condition of his home post-storm nor the realization that we can't save it. We just can't do that to him, not when he's already confused and worried about Mom. He's been through a lot in his life, and weathered them all by the grace of Jesus. He's a strong believer, a naturalized American who came here for Bible college, and he's known what faith can do. Even in dementia he has not lost his faith or forgotten any of what Jesus has put into him.
Dad and Mom have been married 65 years this year, the anniversary came and went through the time of the "lockdowns" we had in the spring. They have weathered many many storms together. They did missions out of their dining room via the postal service to different parts of the world. They've given to missions operations their entire married life. Dad IS a missionary of sorts, coming here from Cuba via Baptist missionaries on the island who encouraged him to go to bible college here. It was here he learned English and has evangelized to most of his neighbors, most of the town he's lived in for 65 years, and to people he didn't know. He has never known a stranger, he has seen people as someone Jesus loves.
On our side, we are growing in trust in the Lord. Hubby is facing things he's not faced before, and while I have had those hurdles, I can't make his decisions. Many times lately I've said, "pray about it", "stop and pray before doing", etc. In essence...stand still and let God move. It's a land of opposite extremes now, either rush and do everything out of sheer desire to hurry up and get to doing things, or completely stop and just shut down and hide. God has this, He tells us to stand still...He doesn't say hide, but to stand still. He gives answers in His timing, just as He did with us and the house. He made sure there is no way we can afford to fix and move in, and He has reasons I'm sure. But had we hurried up and put our own possessions in quickly, we'd been in trouble in rushing before His decisions.
I know we all rush in decision making at one time or another. Each and every one of us is guilty. We don't have to rush. God has His perfect timing, and in His timing He lets us know what He wants. It is so so so easy in this world of instant gratification to want answers immediately. I'm just as guilty as the next person, believe me. In this season of our lives here at ABA, we're learning to slow down, take things one slow matter at a time. It is not easy. We both want to hurry up and do, get things done and over with. But that's not how God works.
There's a song that comes to mind as I write this. It's called "Stand Still and Let God Move". (Go figure huh). I think you'll enjoy it. It's by the Isaacs, a Christian Jewish family.
Comments
Post a Comment
Thank you for your kind comments!